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Soap Bar

It's beautiful but trite. It won't last forever, but illusory dissolve leaving you to capture nothing but the experience … hang on! There are too many 'buts' in that sentence! Oh,yeah, we know it’s on the tip of your tongue... and on your mind too, baby! A deliciously clean BUTT!

In chemistry soap is classified as a salt. When you mix an acid (yeah, baby those gorgeous oils are actually fatty acids, cool, huh?!) with a base (similar to the ash in a camp fire that you toast marshmallows on) you get salt…I mean soap ummm salt… soap…salt…soap…

This mysterious affair of the transformation of an acid and a base into a salt has a scientific badass name. Saponification. Pretty primal, huh?







The first archeological proof of the existence of soap was found in ancient Babylon, over 4800 years ago.

Early soap makers simply boiled a mixture of wood ash and animal fat. A foam substance that formed at the top of the pot which when cooled is hardened into soap.  I know, pretty gross, but hey darling, what ever it takes!

Roman Empire brought the use of soaps, oils and ash mixed gels to the height of popularity.

After the fall of the Roman Empire in 5th century AD, the tradition of washing disappeared from Europe, which brought the 1000 years of uncleanliness (Argh! stinkers), and several waves of deadly plagues (most notably Black Death in 14th century).


After 17th century, some smart pants worked it out (Hallelujah!), and public hygiene and cleanliness returned to Europe which launched the need for creation of many new cleaning products.




1. Soap is more luxurious

Sniffing a plastic bottle doesn't feel very indulgent, but rubbing and cuddling your soap bar in the shower is!


2. Even Leonardo Da Vinci said 'simplicity is the ultimate sophistication'

Enjoy the simplicity of the soap bar and stop having to ignore the dispenser slowly dripping sticky stuff onto your bathroom floor. When the bar of soap runs down, you can still use it until the last tiny fragment but with plastic dispensers it’s a demanding mission to get that last annoying puddle out of the bottom, and you often just give up!

3. A soap bar is a better bet for the environment
Wanna impress your super-concerned about the environment friends? Switch to a soap bar instead of a liquid bottled version.Why?

For a typical visit to the sink, you use almost 7 times more liquid soap (2.3 grams) than bar soap (0.35 grams). That extra soap means more chemicals released into the environment and more processing, and thus more energy and carbon emissions.

And than there is all the plastic fantastic business. All that plastic has to come from somewhere and go somewhere. Recycling can only do so much, whereas typically a bar of soap comes in a little paper wrapper and that's it.

So even your most eco nerdy friends will find you irreproachable (read hot).

4. A soap bar doesn’t send your money down the drain

You use 7 times more liquid soap than bar soap so why are so many embracing it? Especially given about 60% of the cost of a bottle of soap goes on the packaging and the pump, so you're paying for way more than just soap!
Market research points to convenience and successful marketing as a main reasons. They want your money, darling!










Remember how I said earlier (see above here) soap makers simply boiled a mixture of wood ash and animal fat to make soap. Well, they don’t now…no, they don’t, not even out of curiosity to see what will happen.

Around 1790, French chemist Nicolas Leblanc patented a method of making lye from an ordinary salt, replacing the wood ash as an element of soap.

Another French chemist Eugene-Michel Chevreul cracked the chemistry behind it all, and put the soap-forming process into concrete chemical terms in 1823.

So today soap maker can know exact algorithm to make soap. But that’s only the science.

Than you need an 'art' component, to make it irresistible and sexy, ya know...
And love…you must have lots of love to put into it, or it clearly won’t work.

GREENWASH bars are hands creations. They are hand mixed, hand poured, hand cut, hand wrapped. So you gotta stick with the hand-job theme.

Saying that your hands have this marvellous inability to mass-produce and retain lather. So why you keep trying to use them, over and over, to make lather? I know, bella you wanna touch that bar. There is something deeply satisfying about literally scrubbing the dirt off yourself. It's not just physical, it's psychological.
Surely indulge time to time, the truth is alas if you want your soap bar last longer you’ve gotta wash smarter by using a washcloth or mesh/loofah sponge. Get it soapy once with a couple good rubs of the bar, and then put the bar away.  The washcloth/sponge will absorb the lather and keep it going for you, so you can keep on washing but use far less soap.


Remember, wet is not your friend in this!  Storing soap in a puddle of water, or even on a dry  ledge built into the shower that attracts passing steam will make the soap break down far quicker. Have you ever opened a bar of soap, just to notice how it melted into nothing in an obscure way only a week later? Blame the water.

To store your soap bar use something that encourages air-flow like a soap dish so the water can drain off and the soap can dry. The key is air circulation. The best soap dish is one with a holes in it, the more the better. Or at least use a flat dish that won’t accumulate water.  Then, keep it at opposite end of the shower so it dries faster.  Aim to dry your soap bar completely before its next use, just like you aim to clear that secret chocolate stash during Netflix sessions.




One of the dirtiest campaigns in recent memory is over.

OK so there’s the whole hygiene thing... some authorities, like the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, recommend liquid soap because bacteria from one person can accumulate on a bar of soap and spread to someone else. But these recommendations are for sterile conditions in dental clinics. Are you impulsive compulsive clean freak, babe?

Consider: You wash with soap to remove the bacteria on your hands; shouldn’t that very same washing do just as well with any bacteria that might be on the soap?


There are scientific studies that suggest that it does.
For example, this 1998 study published in the journal Epidemiology and Infection and conducted by Dial (a purveyor of both bar and liquid soap) concluded that “little hazard exists in routine handwashing with previously used soap bars.” In this study 16 subjects washed their hands with bars of soap that had been laced with bacteria. After washing, the investigators were unable to find detectable levels of bacteria on the subjects’ skin.

Germs can and most likely do live on all bars of soap, but it’s very unlikely they will make you sick or cause a skin infection. Generally, those with a compromised immune system are really the only ones who should be extra cautious and stick to liquid soap. If you are healthy, your body will have no problem fending off the germs.

You need moist environment for germs to flock to in the first place. So if you always store soap out of water (i.e. not in a wet bathtub), allowing it to dry between uses, and rinse off the bar in running water before lathering up, you can just forget about the whole concept 'those nasty gems on the soap are gonna get you...’.



Believe it or not, darling it’s nothing to do with your soap but everything to do with a water in your area.

Hard water is a general term used to describe water containing dissolved minerals, particularly calcium compounds. When soap meets hard water, dissolved calcium in the water combines with soap anions (nah, babe not the green spring onions in your favourite sushi roll) to produce insoluble calcium soap. Yep, it’s that annoying soap residue on your shower screen/bath tub.

In actual use, the soap concentration is usually much higher than the calcium concentration. The calcium combines with the soap anions until the calcium is fully consumed. The remaining soap works to clean the insoluble calcium formation along with a dirt you used your soap to clean at the first place.

With the ordinary hard water you don’t notice the formation of residue immediately. You find it as covering on the side of the bathtub or shower screen or drain trap. BANG!

Wanna know how hard it gets? Betcha, you do!
Look, it’s hard to adequately describe how hard. However, they do want to make it easy for babes. The United States Geological Survey come up with a single-number scale classification.
And this is what you get in major capital cities of the Great Southern Land.




Well, babe, they tricked you…I’m sorry.

Nearly all of those bars you see in the supermarket are  a synthetic detergents, not delicious natural soap.
You see, one of the first instances of industrially made cleaning detergent happened during First World War, when the Germany economy was strained and left without easy access to soap. Because, lets be frank, when it’s a war you rather eat those fats and oils, than wash you bum with them, right? By 1950s, soap was almost completely displaced in developed countries.

Also the detergent bars have numerous lab made chemical ingredients that smell nice, and help easier cleaning of skin, lathers better in hard water areas, does not leave mineral residue on the bathtub (see below here).

Why? Because it’s so much cheaper to synthesise chemicals from petroleum by-products (and we drill and dig that stuff alright) than to grow ingredients that are good for you (see below here).


soft              0-60   

moderately hard   60-120 

hard              121-180

very hard        >180    

Adelaide          134-148   

Brisbane          100    

Canberra          40       

Darwin            31     

Hobart            6-34     

Melbourne         10-26  

Perth             29-226   

Sydney            39-60  


And this is what you get in a major capital cities of the Great Southern Land.




I know you’re a smart babe. So I can’t see how you wouldn’t understand this one.

Your gel more likely has a chelating agent added to it (che…what?). It's an ingredient used as a “chelator,” which means it binds to certain mineral ions to inactivate them. Which means concept of soap scum formation (see above here) no longer cool and working.
More likely it’s widely used tetrasodium ETDA, made from ethylenediamine, formaldehyde — a known carcinogen according to the National Cancer Institute — and sodium cyanide (which is made from the toxic gas hydrogen cyanide).
Lab people use this three ingredients to synthesise EDTA, and then tetrasodium EDTA is derived from that. In addition to the formaldehyde thingy, this ingredient may also contain dangerous levels of dioxane, a by-product of manufacturing that is also carcinogenic. You’ll find it in moisturisers, skin care and cleansing products, bath soaps, shampoos and conditioners, hair dyes. There have been some case reports of sensitive individuals developing eczema after using cream with tetrasodium EDTA, and it’s known to be a potent eye irritant. It can also be slow to degrade, making it a poor choice for environmental health.

Too far? This ingredient is a penetration enhancer as well. That means it breaks down the skin’s protective barrier, making it easier for other potentially harmful ingredients in the formula to sink deeper into your tissues and perhaps even into your bloodstream.

The Cosmetic Ingredient Review Expert Panel checked the scientific data and concluded that disodium ETDA and related ingredients (including tetrasodium EDTA) were safe as used in personal care products. The panel also said the ingredient was not well absorbed in the skin. They did note, however, that since the ingredients are penetration enhancers, formulators should be cautious when combining these things with other ingredients that may be hazardous if absorbed.
The Cosmetic Safety Database rates the hazard of the ingredient at a low “2,” with a low overall health hazard, and EDTA has not been found to cause cancer in laboratory animals.

I don’t know about you, bella, but that load doesn’t seat very well with me. We don’t have established scientific data on whether long-term use may hurt us (before they gave parabens green light to go, remember?), but just looking at the sources, nah, we wouldn’t want to be putting this stuff on your skin.

Last look adorable today by the way.

Remember they also call it

  • Edetate sodium

  • Tetrasodium edetate

  • Tetrasodium salt


Watch out for it!


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